ughhhhhhh... i dont wanna........

I have to do this stupid presentation for psych class :P I so dont want to do this.

It's not that i dislike psych class-its probs my favorite, because it so interesting. but i dont want to be working on this right now! I want to be working on my halloween costume gal dang it!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, I made a pair of fairy wings out of duct tape. I just need to put some wire in them so they stay up better, and maybe a nifty design. Yes, I'll post a picture :)

OK, i really shouldnt be procrastinating. time to get this mofo DONE!

'cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around...

I feel like crying for some reason. I'm just incredibly overwhelmed with everything. Ugh. Can I please just have like a couple hours to sleep?!? I was up until 2 am last night working on my homework because my partner in a project made me do the work that he said he was going to do!

.....anyway. I'm just complaining.

a song for you all, so this isnt a total waste of a post.

poetry time!

So who here has seen Dead Poets Society?

Total downer of a movie, right? Honestly, I didn't like it very much.

But I had to write a paper on it for Psych class anyway :P

While I was exploring the character of Todd, I was reminded of the poem he wrote in English (after the "yawp" thing), and so I went ahead and looked it up, and I must say I like it very much. So I put it here for y'all to read, as my first poem for this entry...

“I close my eyes and this image floats beside me
The sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brains
His hands reach out and choke me
And all the time he’s mumbling
Truth, like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.
You push it, stretch it, it will never be enough
Kick it beat it, it will never cover any of us.
From the moment we enter crying, to the moment we leave dying,
it will just cover your face
as you wail and cry and scream.”

Nifty, huh? excellent usage if metaphors and imagery and stuff.

Ok, on to the next poem. You guys have heard of beatniks, right? Well, the beat poets were kinda nifty I guess. The only one I ever really got into was Allen Ginsberg.... and man, is that guy nifty. One of my favorite poems of his is "america" (no, its not patriotic). So here's that one...

America I've given you all and now I'm nothing.
America two dollars and twenty-seven cents January 17, 1956.
I can't stand my own mind.
America when will we end the human war?
Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb
I don't feel good don't bother me.
I won't write my poem till I'm in my right mind.
America when will you be angelic?
When will you take off your clothes?
When will you look at yourself through the grave?
When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites?
America why are your libraries full of tears?
America when will you send your eggs to India?
I'm sick of your insane demands.
When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks?
America after all it is you and I who are perfect not the next world.
Your machinery is too much for me.
You made me want to be a saint.
There must be some other way to settle this argument.
Burroughs is in Tangiers I don't think he'll come back it's sinister.
Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke?
I'm trying to come to the point.
I refuse to give up my obsession.
America stop pushing I know what I'm doing.
America the plum blossoms are falling.
I haven't read the newspapers for months, everyday somebody goes on trial for
murder.
America I feel sentimental about the Wobblies.
America I used to be a communist when I was a kid and I'm not sorry.
I smoke marijuana every chance I get.
I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses in the closet.
When I go to Chinatown I get drunk and never get laid.
My mind is made up there's going to be trouble.
You should have seen me reading Marx.
My psychoanalyst thinks I'm perfectly right.
I won't say the Lord's Prayer.
I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations.
America I still haven't told you what you did to Uncle Max after he came over
from Russia.

I'm addressing you.
Are you going to let our emotional life be run by Time Magazine?
I'm obsessed by Time Magazine.
I read it every week.
Its cover stares at me every time I slink past the corner candystore.
I read it in the basement of the Berkeley Public Library.
It's always telling me about responsibility. Businessmen are serious. Movie
producers are serious. Everybody's serious but me.
It occurs to me that I am America.
I am talking to myself again.

Asia is rising against me.
I haven't got a chinaman's chance.
I'd better consider my national resources.
My national resources consist of two joints of marijuana millions of genitals
an unpublishable private literature that goes 1400 miles and hour and
twentyfivethousand mental institutions.
I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of underpriviliged who live in
my flowerpots under the light of five hundred suns.
I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers is the next to go.
My ambition is to be President despite the fact that I'm a Catholic.

America how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as individual as his
automobiles more so they're all different sexes
America I will sell you strophes $2500 apiece $500 down on your old strophe
America free Tom Mooney
America save the Spanish Loyalists
America Sacco & Vanzetti must not die
America I am the Scottsboro boys.
America when I was seven momma took me to Communist Cell meetings they
sold us garbanzos a handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the
speeches were free everybody was angelic and sentimental about the
workers it was all so sincere you have no idea what a good thing the party
was in 1835 Scott Nearing was a grand old man a real mensch Mother
Bloor made me cry I once saw Israel Amter plain. Everybody must have
been a spy.
America you don're really want to go to war.
America it's them bad Russians.
Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen. And them Russians.
The Russia wants to eat us alive. The Russia's power mad. She wants to take
our cars from out our garages.
Her wants to grab Chicago. Her needs a Red Reader's Digest. her wants our
auto plants in Siberia. Him big bureaucracy running our fillingstations.
That no good. Ugh. Him makes Indians learn read. Him need big black niggers.
Hah. Her make us all work sixteen hours a day. Help.
America this is quite serious.
America this is the impression I get from looking in the television set.
America is this correct?
I'd better get right down to the job.
It's true I don't want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts
factories, I'm nearsighted and psychopathic anyway.
America I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Kinda lengthy... but man, that guy is deep.

Now for one I just read in english class- the rime of the aincent mariner. Since it's 38 or so pages long I won't post it here, but I highly suggest heading to a library and picking up a copy-it was really beautiful.

thats all for tonight, guys. may the force be with you.

if you do this at brueggers, I hate you.

this is just a rant. I work at brueggers and have to deal with an abundance of dumbasses every time I work there. Most of the time, however, its harmless. Mildly stupid questions, extremely messy eaters, people who wear outrageous outfits, etc.

But these are the things that drive me crazy.

-Not taking care of your garbage. Anyone who's ever been to Brueggers knows that you are supposed to take care of your OWN trash. There are no waiters or bus boys or anything. its cafeteria-style-you go to the counter, order, move to the cash register, pay, take you food to a table, eat, throw your stuff away, put the tray next to the garbage, and leave. But every once in a while, someone laves a huge pile of garbage on a table for me to clean up, or leave their glass bottles next to the garbage can instead of actually throwing them in the garbage can, or THROW THEIR NAPKINS ON THE FLOOR. It is SO GROSS having to pick someone else's used napkins off of the floor. And the bottles thing? Why? Just why? I KNOW the garbage isn't too full-I make sure it's never too full-and the can is 3 centimeters away from where you put the bottle. I don't get it!

-"what does the blueberry/pumpkin/hazelnut coffee taste like?" This is just such a stupid question. It tastes like coffee mixed with blueberry/pumpkin/hazelnut. What else would it taste like?

-"yeah, can i have a decaf mocha bruegaccino with whipped cream and a swirl of caramel?" No you may not. We don't serve that. We do have a mocha bruegaccino, but we do not make them decaf, nor do we have caramel or whipped cream. There is a dunn bros. RIGHT NEXT DOOR. There's actually a door connecting us with them. While we do serve coffee, and would love to serve you something reasonable, if you want something complicated, please go there and stop wasting my valuable bagel-slicing coffee-pouring time.

-"waitwaitwait-it costs HOW much?!?" Our prices are listed on the menu board. And they're perfectly reasonable. If you have issues with it, then a) order something less expensive-maybe instead of getting a large mocha bruegaccio which costs around $4.50, you could just get a coke? Instead of an herby turkey on a square bagel with extra cheese and three extra veggies, you could get a simple bagel with cream cheese? Don't get me wrong, I LIKE it when you spend your money here, but if you're not happy with the price, these are ways to lower it. And b) for the love of jesus (pronounced hey-seuss) don't take it out on me. I'm just the cashier. Talk to the guy with "general manager" written on his name tag, and maybe he'll take it up with the people at the head of the bruegger's royal family (but he probably won't). I do try hard to make sure you don't waste your money-like if someone asks how the hot chocolate is, and I know it's terrible, I will tell them its terrible and recommend something else. But it's not like I'm gonna give you my employee discount because you complained about the price.

-Letting your spawn run loose. Put the kids on a leash or something. Or tell them to stay next to you. Please don't let them run around, knocking over garbage cans, moving tables around, yelling, trying to go behind the counter, etc. It bugs me to no end.

-I can't read your minds! If you ask me for a soda, and I ask what size and what kind you want, don't get annoyed with me. I can't read your mind-I don't know what you're thinking when you say "soda". Try "I'll have a small coke" or "I'll have a large sprite" instead of "I'll have a soda". Same goes for coffee.

-Just being rude in general. If you give me a long order ("3 large coffees, one hazelnut and two pumpkin; two diet cokes, one medium with ice, one large without; two bruegaccinos, one mocha; and a small hot chocolate" or something like that) then don't get impatient. I'm going as fast as I can, I promise you. This is the kind of order you call ahead for so we can have it ready when you get here. Don't use a demanding tone-that bugs the hell out of me. And once an old man asked me "why are you so chipper?" Well, it's my job to smile and be friendly. I've actually practiced my smile in the mirror for this job. And no matter how crabby I am, I use the friendliest tone I can. You have no reason to be rude to me.

Now a thank-you to some of our great customers. The big tippers, the ones who smile back at me, who compliment my earrings and who don't look at me like I'm psycho when I tell them to have a nice day, the ones who call ahead for their obscenely large orders, the ones who look at my nametag and call me by my name... you guys are great. I want to high-five you all. You guys make up for all the a-holes.

Well, this has been an Ezra rant. Until next time.